Romans 8 Says that “there is no Condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ, that the law of the Spirit of life has set us free”. And over and over again, Paul talks specifically about the freedom we have through Jesus Christ. You see, at one time, the only way to access God was through the prophets and priests, the average person could not simply speak to God, and there was even a physical reminder of this, in the temple there was a big curtain separating the Word of God in the Arc from the people. But when Jesus died, that curtain was torn in two, now, as we read in second Peter, all of us, who put our faith in him, are a royal priesthood. We are free to be led, free to be called, free to pray, free to study, free to discuss.
But so often we find that in today Church and Christian culture we are giving up our freedoms. During the Old testament times many of the prophets and priests abused their position. Eli's sons took food from people's sacrifices, others took money, Balam the prophet used the position to gain favour, etc. Just recently in the US one of the largest Churches, Mars Hill, Shut down completely and disbanded because over time they had changed their by-laws making the pastors the executive team, with no accountability, and spiritual abuse started becoming common place.
Spiritual abuse happens when we give over the freedom we have in Christ. We do as Paul says and we submit again to the yoke of slavery. The Bible is clear on our freedom and how we live it out, we don't need more rules. Our faith and our obedience is not forced on us by men and institutions it we obey God because we've been changed, we've put our faith in him and now he is in us. It is not because our pastor or our denomination told us to. Here are some ways to recognise Spiritual Abuse, now these are based on thing that happen in a Church that are blatantly contrary to Scripture, to the words taught to us in order to make sure we don' have spiritual abuse in our Churches.
Church becomes a “one man/woman band”. Often a pastor or pastor's spouse will put themselves in a position where they run or are a major part of every ministry in the Church. All decisions, large or small are made by them. The micromanage every aspect of the ministry. All ideas for ministry come from them. They pick all them music on a Sunday Morning, they tell all the home groups and studies what they are to study, they do all the worship leading, all the visits. When others have an idea for ministry the pastor always says no, or when others feel called to ministry the pastor does not give them room to live out their call. This style of “leadership' is completely opposite to what we read in 1 Corinthians 14, where all come with a hymn or a reading or a prophecy or a prayer, and to 1 Corinthians 12 which says we are one body with many members.
Serving the Pastor or the vision of the pastor. This is very common in modern Churches that Church members as well as the eldership and deacons are to “serve the vision of the Pastor”. That statement is found no where in Scripture, yet it is often held as a model for Church “leadership”. This means that the pastor or “head” pastor is the only one who can set the vision for the ministries of the Church. However, even Jesus said “I have come to serve but to be served”. He also stated that we are to serve God alone and that we cannot serve two masters. Going back to Romans 8 we are all all given the Holy Spirit and all set free to be led by the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 12 says we have all been gifted differently and called differently to minister differently serving the only head of the Church which is Jesus Christ.
Doing away with, or minimising the role of Elders and Deacons. Elders and Deacons are there to ensure that there are many parts of the body being represented in the ministry of the Church. Deacons were established in Acts 6 to ensure the ministry of the Church was being taken care of, and Elders maintained a role of Spiritual leadership. The deacons were chosen from the congregation and the elders were either chosen by Apostles overseeing a certain area (which is similar to many denominational structures) or they were naturally chosen simply as elder men of good repute and a call to serve in that way. Elders in the early Church were charged with the preaching and teaching ministries (preachers were either itinerant or part of the eldership or congregation). Elders and deacons played an important role in the early Church while the role of pastor was barely mentioned (if at all depending on how you translate it).
Shutting down debate and discussion. One way to ensure that no one questions anything is to make sure that conversations never go deep. Home group and Bible studies are always topical, avoiding getting into difficult Bible passages. There is an emphasis on fellowship and fun over study (by the way, I don't advocate going the other way either). The word study might be removed completely or replaced with words like “Care” or “Life”. Those who do study the Bible deeper are often made to feel like they are “too serious” or “too academic” or are told that they should “just focus on love and joy”. When someone feels that an issue should be addressed in the ministry or that there is sin in the Church that needs to be addressed they are immediately put down as being argumentative or causing dissension. 1 Thessalonians 5 reminds us to “test everything” and in Acts we read that the Bereans didn't accept what Paul said but that they questioned him and then went to study to test what he said. We read that we are to discuss sin in the Church, Jesus even lays out a system for doing that in Matthew 18. We know that the early Church had these discussions, Paul opposed Peter to his face. If we are actually united and doing these discussions in love and truth then there is no reason to shut down dissension.
Lights sounds and emotional manipulation: Have you ever noticed how on advertisements and sporting events there will often be an announcer who shouts loudly and quickly, often repeating the same line over and over again. This has been for sometime a tool for emotional manipulation. Advertisers use it to get people excited about their products. Ever been to a casino. Every where you look there are flashing lights. The rooms are darkened to make you focus on those flashing lights and to lure you in. Now many Churches use lights and it DOES enhance the worship experience, that's OK, and I have even gotten whipped up into emotionalism in my sermons, because, yes, it's an emotional topic to talk about Jesus. But when a Church cannot worship without doing these things, it means that the Word of God and the Spirit of God is not sufficient for them and that the Holy Spirit is not in charge, the worship leader is. Or when these tactics are used specifically around offering time or when promoting a volunteer need. Going back to 1 Corinthians 14 there is a simplicity happening there and a spontaneity that can only come from simply allowing the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to be the lead in the Church. The modern concert style worship services often do not allow freedom for the congregation. There is little room in the worship order for members of the Congregation to bring a prayer or a word, instead all of those things, literally put the spot light on the pastor and the worship team, and it makes the congregation into spectators rather than worshippers together.
Who is the Head of the Church: When you envision your Church, who is the first person you see? When your community envisions your Church who do they see? Of course the answer should be Jesus. It should be that no one person in the congregation appears as the “head” of the Church. The job of the Church is to point to the head of the Church Jesus. Yet, in a Spiritually abusive Church it's the pastor who is promoted. The congregation is encouraged to lead people, not to Jesus, but to the pastor and to Church, and the pastor will then lead them to Jesus. I even heard recently from a pastor that the Great commission was really only for Pastors, which is false when you take into consideration the statement that we are ALL a royal priesthood 2 Peter. According to Col. 1 Jesus is the only head of the Church, and going back to 1 Corinthians 12 we are all part of the body.
Forced Works: Paul spent a good deal of time on this subject. Churches like Corinth and Galatians were adding rules where rules were not needed. They were adding rules about what to eat, where to hang out, and what to do with Jewish traditions. Paul's main word of advise; freedom, “everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23) just as then your brothers and sisters have a right and responsibility to come along side you when you are wrong (James 5). But Paul even adds some of his own rules not spoken of by Scriptures such as rules about hair and a women's place but then he adds “Judge for yourself” at the end of his statement. But in the case of Spiritual abuse there are rules added. Now of course there has to be rules, Paul says that we should have rules and we should expel people who are immoral, gossips, violent, etc. But he says that in areas like what to eat and where to hang out and who to hang out with, we must have the ability to discern for ourselves. In a Spiritually abusive Church rules and conditions are added to simply following Jesus. Sometimes it can be that if you don't do certain things than your salvation will be affected or God will not be able to work in your life or the end times victory will come come to place. None of this is Biblical. Your salvation has been sealed in Jesus Christ, God is all powerful, and his victory is promised. None of this depends on you attending Church, taking dominion over your community, tithing a certain amount, or obeying your pastor.
Signing a Covenant. In many Spiritually abusive Churches members have to sign a covenant saying that they will obey their pastor and Church leaders. Again this conflicts with Jesus' statement that we can only serve God, but it is also in direct violation of his command that “no one should make an oath, at all”. (Matthew 5:35).
Love Bombing and positivity blindness: One of the age old tactics of a cult is the “Love Bomb”. They surround someone with constant praise and love and everything about the group seems to be so loving and kind. But then when you disagree the love bomb explodes and suddenly you hear “you disagree with us, but we are so loving to you. Disagreeing means you are not loving” and suddenly the love is with held. The love is conditional on how well you are willing to conform to the love. Everything is always positive. It's all about what they are for and no one is allowed to speak negatively. Everything is supposed to be positive and encouraging. Discernment and disagreement are not considered positive and encouraging in these settings. So it is recommended that you stay blind to anything negative and rather than saying your against it, you just remember to focus on what you are “for” and don't worry about that nagging feeling that something isn't right.
Titles and letters: Spiritually abusive Christian leaders will often flaunt their titles or make them up entirely. That being said, there is nothing wrong with titles there are many in the NT Church. The problem happens when the Church says only those with a certain title can study, speak, do ministry, preach, baptise, when the Bible gives no such rule. Often they will use their title not as a means to distinguish their service, but to mark them out as being of a higher rank. Somme have gone so far as to say you must be aligned with and under someone with the title of Shepherd or Apostle. Shepherding and Apostolic Alignment has no basis in Scripture. Paul explicitly says in 1 Corinthians 1that you are not to say “I am of” so and so. But only to follow Christ. And Jesus says, that we should call no one teacher as he is the only teacher and no one father as God is our only father.